Unless, of course, it's over the love of Dan Fogelberg. There's a real man's competition! Anyway, as I intimated at this blog's inception, CIAI has different meanings to different people, just like River Dance, or the name "Big Ugly Sweat-Pants-Eating Man-Whore" (believe me, I found this second one out the hard way). As you recall, CIAI is the name of several organizations around the world. Unbeknownst to me at the time, however, CIAI is actually the name of another blog
right here on blogspot. Check it out. Read it. Bombard it with spam. Curse it nightly. Really, it's shit (I use the word strictly in its archaic sense, of course. When or why that became a good thing is a complete mystery to me. I'm guessing it had something to do with the release of Kenny G's "Duets" album, which caused many people to say "Hey, you know what would be good compared with this? SHIT!"). But I digress. I discovered the site some time ago by complete accident... or was it? I perused the "articles" with detached amusement. But certain things began to pop out at me. I noticed that this sinister organization had "support from Asian Financial Society" and the China Trust Bank. "Aha!" said I, "This smacks of international conspiracy!" Then, I saw, to my horror, that they were organizing "high-level symposiums" right here on American soil! Obviously, this "CIAI" is in cahoots with Asian companies to flood the American market with noodle products and prescription drugs (HIGH-LEVEL SYMPOSIUMS, wink wink, nudge nudge). Of course, this is a clear threat, as many Asian noodle and prescription drugs are processed in plants THAT MAY ALSO PROCESS PEANUT PRODUCTS! Dear God, do you realize what this means to those faithful American citizens with food allergies? And since the packaging has no markings other than esoteric, cryptic slash-symbols like the ones in Street Fighter 2, there'd be no way of knowing! However, my horror soon turned to disgust as I scrolled down farther and saw the following post: "lalala, playing around." Now, the entire internet community did not need to know that! Please, learn some restraint. Like Kuplic said, managing a blog is a major responsibilty, and it's freaks like you that give us a bad name! I decided that this wicked mamajama had besmirched the holy, transcendant name of CIAI enough. There was only one recourse: Electronic Warfare. i quickly donned by cyber-turban and my magic seeing-stone and called my S.W.A.T. team together (pictured below)
My magic seeing-stone then sent out its magic red light at a frequency that transported my consciousness into the electronic world of the internet itself. As the cybernetic dream-time swirled round me, I became aware of a dark figure approaching me. Apparently, my nemesis had set a trap! He began to bombard me with electrothermal magnowaves and razor-sharp shards of Berry Berry Kicks cereal (government tested, mom approved!) Sensing immanent defeat, I used my magic seeing-stone to conjure 80's superstar Prince, who came almost instantly riding on a purple dolphin. He instantaneously endowed me with his ancient knowledge, and I rose, assumed the "dragon-child" pose, and shouted the incantation: "APPLE JACKS DON'T TASTE LIKE APPLES, BITCH!" In a flash of purple lightning, my foe was transformed into Blink 182, and was subsequently booed off the stage. SO, friends, there are two lessons here. First, don't be afraid to call on 80's superstar Prince anytime you are in need, he is indeed a compassionate god. Second. never eat pine needles that have been treated with flame-retardant. Just...don't.
My magic seeing-stone then sent out its magic red light at a frequency that transported my consciousness into the electronic world of the internet itself. As the cybernetic dream-time swirled round me, I became aware of a dark figure approaching me. Apparently, my nemesis had set a trap! He began to bombard me with electrothermal magnowaves and razor-sharp shards of Berry Berry Kicks cereal (government tested, mom approved!) Sensing immanent defeat, I used my magic seeing-stone to conjure 80's superstar Prince, who came almost instantly riding on a purple dolphin. He instantaneously endowed me with his ancient knowledge, and I rose, assumed the "dragon-child" pose, and shouted the incantation: "APPLE JACKS DON'T TASTE LIKE APPLES, BITCH!" In a flash of purple lightning, my foe was transformed into Blink 182, and was subsequently booed off the stage. SO, friends, there are two lessons here. First, don't be afraid to call on 80's superstar Prince anytime you are in need, he is indeed a compassionate god. Second. never eat pine needles that have been treated with flame-retardant. Just...don't.
