What is CIAI?

Oh, how do I even begin to explain this? Well, for starters, CIAI (pronounced See? I, Eh... Eye) is the Centro Italiano Aiuti all'Infanzia, which helps children, so I guess it's OK. It is also the Cochlear Implant Association, Inc. (in case you ever want a job at Hooter's, where the minimun cochlear girth is a whopping, unrealistic yet provocative 3mm). It is also the Clark Inspection Agency Inc.. CIAI is a brilliant tactic. CIAI is what you say when you don't have anything else but you know you have to say SOMETHING to keep them off your back. Oddly enough, CIAI doesn't always work out that way. CIAI can stop time. This can be a bad thing if it happens to slip out of your mouth at an inopportune moment. CIAI has a mind of its own. CIAI will never die, just like Gilmore Girls. CIAI transcends all catagories of human thought. CIAI is unlike Gilmore Girls in this respect. CIAI must be watched diligently. CIAI's similarity to Gilmore Girls here is the subject of a furious debate between my father and myself. CIAI will triumph in the end. Well, I mean, CIAI, meant... What was the question?